Sta.sh
D I S C L A I M E R --------------
The characters Minerva Mink, Newt, Yakko, Wacko, Dot, and the Animaniacs
universe are all are copyrighted creations of Warner Brothers. This is
fanfiction, not meant to infringe on any copyrights nor written for financial
gain. This story is for not-for-profit entertainment ONLY and must not be
reproduced or publized in any way, shape or form.
Story by Orlando Alridge.
Minevra Mink -- "Minerva's New Tail"
We find Minerva Mink in her tree home, looking in her mirror and singing as
she steps out of her shower.
"It's not easy to be me, try it and you'll see! It's not as easy as you
think, to be a gorgeous mink!" she sings as she uses a hair dryer to dry her
fur. Then she puts on her bathrobe and begins to brush her long yellow tail.
"It's takes a lot of hard work to be beautiful! Brushing my tail alone takes
a half hour"
One hour later, Minerva emerges from her house, dressed in a blue vest,
bluejeans and black boots. Every male bird, squirrel and chipmunk who sees
her drools and makes the 'big eyes' at her as she walks by.
"I'm so bored! I think I'll go to the mall and drown my gluminess by maxxing
out my credit cards power shopping!"
On the way to the mall, Minerva passes by a curious little shop called,
"Presto's House of Magic".
"Hummmm. A magic shop! I never noticed this place here before. Maybe I can
browse around a bit before I go on my wild shopping spree!"
Minerva enters the shop and begins to look around. The proprietor of the
shop, a weird looking nerd, who is holding a strange looking small box.
"I have to get rid of this thing! It's too dangerous to keep here. If I
could only find someone to take it off my hands..."
Then the nerdy guy spots Minerva, his eyes bug out and he floats over to her,
drooling and with hearts in his eyes.
"I get this kind of thing all the time, folks" Minerva mutters as she points
to the man.
"MARRY ME?"
"Not in THIS lifetime, buster!"
"How about a present?"
"A gift? For me?"
"Sure!"
The nerdy man hands her the box and then passes out.
"Well, he did say this was a gift. I better take it and go before he wakes up
and wants to charge me for it!"
Minerva walks over to an alley and opens the box. It looks like a hand held
video game unit, sort of like a GameBoy, but a little bigger.
"What kind of a present is this?"
"A very special one!" the game unit replies in a cold, computerized voice.
"You can talk?"
"Yes, I sure can you sexy looking furry creature!"
"HEY! Don't get fresh with me, pal!"
"Sorry lady"
"So, what do you do? Are you a PDA or a GameBoy or..."
"I am the Loki 2000, the ultimate in virtual reality gaming! There are
hundreds of games to choose from in my game library! Why not try one?"
"Look Mr Roboto, I have a day of shopping to do so I'm not going to..."
"How about playing Fox Hunt? You're a fox that has to escape the hunting
dogs and ..."
"Nope, I'll just turn you off!"
Minerva searches the strange device for an off switch, but doesn't find one.
"Surprise little mink, you're playing this game whether you want to or not!"
The screen flashes and a tiny fox figure appears, surrounded by barking dogs.
"Better move your player, mink, before the mean old dogs catch you!"
"Look Hal, I'm not playing this thing! I have shopping to do."
As she moves to sit the unit on a park bench, it flashes and makes loud siren
noises.
"Oh dear, lady, you've been caught by the dogs! Too bad..."
"Big deal, it's only a stupid game anyway."
"Not exactly...."
"What?"
"You see, with the Loki 2000, you not only play the game, but you suffer the
same fate as your character if you fail."
"What are you babbling about, circuit mouth?"
"In the Fox Hunt game, if the fox is caught, the hunters cut it's tail off,
so....."
A magical puff of smoke surrounds Minerva. When it discipates, Minerva feels
a bit different.
"Hmmmm. Seems a bit breezy out here. I wonder what..."
She screams when she looks down. Not only were her blue pants gone, but so
was most of her tail! She stares in horror at her backside, seeing only a
small stubby bit of yellow fur where her long lovely tail had once been. She
now angerly grabs the Loki 2000 with both hands.
"Alright you excuse for a GameBoy, what the heck happened to my pants and MY
TAIL?!?!?!?"
"Uhhhhh...."
"ANSWER ME OR I'LL RIP YOUR BATTERIES OUT!! WHERE'S MY TAIL???"
"You lost the game, so you lost your tail!"
"But what about my pants?"
"Foxes don't wear them, so neither will you!"
"HEY! Enough with this practical joke! I'm standing here half naked in this
alley and..."
As she speaks, she glances up and notices a crowd has gathered around her.
Some of them are pointing at her and laughing.
"Say? Isn't that Minerva Mink?"
"Yeah, but where's her long furry tail?"
"She must've had it docked!"
"She sure looks funny now!"
Embarrassed and frightened, Minerva runs away. The Warner brothers and Dot
look very surprised.
"Wow! Poor Minerva" Dot Warner says.
"Hey, she's not wearing any pants!" Yakko says.
"Or any underpants either!" Wacko shouts.
"HELLO MINK!!!" the two Warner boys shout as they run after her, only to be
stopped by Dot's huge wooden mallet whacking them into the pavement.
"Boys, they never change..." Dot says as she drags her dazed brothers away.
Meanwhile, Minerva has snuck back home. She enters her house, slamming the
door behind her as she once more picks up the Loki 2000 up with her hands.
"Look you Star Trek reject, I want my tail back NOW!!"
"Sorry lady, you lost it fair and square to me! See you later, gotta rest
and recharge for a while. Bye for now!"
Minerva looks in horror as the Loki 2000 vanishes in her hands.
"HEY! COME BACK HERE!!! GIVE ME MY TAIL BACK!!! I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE
PANTS, I HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF THEM BUT I CAN'T BUY A NEW TAIL!!!"
An hour later, Minerva's rage begins to settle down. She slumps into her easy
chair and sobs.
"What can I do? I feel like half a mink without my long, flowing tail! I
can't possibly go out in public looking like this!"
Suddenly, she glances out her window and sees a very buff looking male mink
walking by. He's wearing only a pair of shorts as he walks closer to her
house. Minerva's eyes bug out as she leaps into the air.
"WOW WEE!!! A HUNK!!!"
Minerva excitedly changes into a blue halter, blue jean shorts and sneakers as
she dashes outside and nearly tackles the unsuspecting male mink.
"Take me, I'm yours!" she shouts as she leaps into his open arms.
"You're cute, lady!" the male mink says,"but what happened to your tail?"
"Uh..... forget about my tail, loverboy! Let's talk about YOU!!"
"Seriously, did you lose it in a trap? Did a hunter take it? Did you have an
accident when you were younger?"
"NEVER MIND ABOUT MY TAIL! I don't want to talk about it!"
"C'mon lady, you can tell me all about it, PLEASE???"
Now angry, Minerva jumps out of the male mink's arms, slaps him in the face,
and storms back towards her house.
"What'd I say, what'd I say?"
As the male mink walks away, Minerva turns towards her house, only to find her
mink lady friends standing on her welcome mat, pointing and laughing at her.
"We had to see if it was true, and it IS!"
"The great Minerva Mink lost her tail!"
"I can't believe it! Some smart hunter must've cut her tail off!"
"Maybe that dopey Newt dog finally outsmarted her!"
"HE DID NOT!! I LOST IT IN....."
Minerva suddenly stops talking, ashamed to admit that she lost her tail to a
magical video game. Instead, she thinks up a convincing lie. She turns her
back to them and shakes her shorted tail at them.
"Didn't my tailor do a fabulous job on it?"
"Say what?"
"What are you babbling about, Minerva?"
"You mean you had this done to yourself on purpose?"
"Yes, I was tired of my tail being dragged along the ground, and it's SO much
easier to brush out and groom at this length! I'm starting my own new fashion
trend! Soon, all the lady minks of quality will have short tails! Excuse me,
I have to check my answering machine, SO many guys want to date the NEW
Minerva.
The other lady minks watch as Minerva enters her house. When she sees them
leaving, she throws herself across her bed and sobs.
"What am I going to do without my tail?"
Suddenly, someone emerges from her closet and bonks her on the head with a
board.
"At last, at long last, I have caught a mink for my master!" Newt the hunting
dog shouts as he throws the knocked out Minerva over his shoulder and dashes
away with her. The happy dog lays her before his human master and barks
happily.
"Good dog! At last you brought me a... what's this? This mink's tail has been
cut off! It must be sick or diseased! I want perfect mink pelts, not ones
like this."
Newt whines as his master tosses the still unconscience Minerva into a nearby
litter bin.
"C'mon boy, it's time to find another place to hunt."
Newt hops into his master's truck and they drive away. Minerva now wakes up,
her head aching.
"AWWWWW! How did I get this bump on my head... HEY! What am I doing in a
trash can?"
Minerva tips the can over and slowly climbs out. The Loki 2000 magically
appears in front of her.
"So, how is my favorite short-tailed mink doing?"
"YOU! GIVE ME BACK MY TAIL YOU SORRY PIECE OF ELECTRONIC JUNK!!"
"Now now now, temper temper! Keep yelling at me and I'll vanish for good!"
"Ok ok, is there any way you'll give me my tail back?"
"You can play the game again and beat it! If you win, I'll change you back to
the way you were before."
"Alright alright, I'll do it!"
"But if you lose, this time I'll take you into the game with me, permanently!"
"Permanently? Wait, I changed my mind..."
"Too late, little mink!"
The Loki 2000 flashes on. Minerva quickly grabs it and begins to play. Not
being very experienced at video games, she loses in a matter of minutes.
"Looks like you lose, mink!"
Furious, Minerva throws the Loki 2000 up against a tree, causing it to shatter
into pieces. When she does this, a poof of smoke surrounds her. When the
smoke clears, Minerva turns her head and looks down at her backside.
"MY TAIL!!! IT'S BACK!!!"
Minerva long lovely tail had returned! As she stood wagging, hugging and
petting her long tail with joy, she is soon surrounded by a group of her
angry mink lady friends. All of them had short tails, like hers once was.
"You called it a fashion statement, Minerva Mink!!"
"We had our tails docked!"
"Now our boyfriends are laughing at us!"
"Everyone in town laughed at us too!"
"And how did you get YOUR tail back?"
Minerva now looks nervous as the group of lady minks move in on her.
"IT WAS ALL A TRICK!!! GET HER, GALS!!!"
They tackle her and soon a cloud of dirt and smoke covers them all as they
beat up Minerva. When the dust clears, the lady minks walk away as Minerva
lay on the ground, her clothes torn, her hair half pulled out and her tail
cut off again.
"This could be a great new video game," the pieces of the Loki 2000 shouts.
"Shut up, you lousy calculator," Minerva says as she passes out on the ground.
THE END
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I have added your story to my favorites because it is most awsome.
Sincerely,
steampunkpainter (that guy who once poked you with a stick).